No Love
by Celestial Reign
Summary: With Malik trapped in their mind and unwilling to submit to him, Mariku forces her into his games by controlling her with the rod. genderbend, rape.


"Why are you crying, Malik?"

I couldn't...I couldn't take it anymore. Please, I just-don't. No.

His laughter.

The floor was cold. Freezing. I was huddled onto it, curled into a ball. Smaller, I needed to be smaller. If I could disappear, if I could escape-no, it wouldn't happen. There was no getting out of here. I couldn't...

I just cried, and he laughed. It'd been so long since I'd been here. I don't even know anymore. This place-if you can even call it that-was so cold. It was our mind after all, hardly a 'place'. Unfortunately, I wasn't the one in control of this mind.

He was.

And.

He was back. He was here, here, so close, I could hear his shoes hitting the floor. He was getting closer, and closer, and CLOSER! NO, NO, PLEASE! PLEASE-I CAN'T, NO!

I curled into my defensive ball. Please, let me disappear. If I could get small enough-Just take me away from here. I'm sorry-I could disappear. I hated it. I hated it. I hated him. I hated all this, everything. Myself.

The tears continued down, like rain, when his hand came out of nowhere and placed itself to my shoulder. I flinched at his touch, crying harder. It was so cold. Everything was cold. There was no warmth, nothing comforting, just bitter freeze.

"Don't cry, Malik."

He didn't mean it. Those words he spoke, no, that poison he spewed out, it was all lies. He liked seeing me cry like this. Even though I knew that, I couldn't help it. I just-I couldn't take it anymore.

"Mariku..." It'd been so long since I'd spoken anything coherent. Most of my voice was used for nowadays was screaming. I didn't look at him when I spoke, just sobbed into the floor, in my little ball.

His fingers squeezed my shoulder a little. "...Yes?"

"I'm sorry." Maybe it would help. No...nothing would. It was useless, God, Malik, why do you do this to yourself? It won't do any good! You know that damned well. "Whatever I did, I'm sorry."

A sigh.

...What did that mean? He didn't normally sigh.

"Whatever are you apologizing for?" S-such fake innocence. He knew damned well what I was sorry for.

"Everything." Don't look at him. Don't. _DON'T_.

"...Why would you be sorry for everything?"

God, please, don't make me do this. I can't-I CAN'T! Kill me. Someone. Please. End me. He can have it, if he wants it that badly, Mariku can take my body, I don't care anymore! Just...make him stop. He can have it.

"I just am. I'm sorry." So many tears, I was blind. "I'm sorry for existing, for how you came into being, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for imprisoning you for 6 years. I didn't know. I didn't mean to, but I'm sorry. If you want it, you can have my body. Your body. It's yours. Take it. Please, let me go home. Let me out."

The fingers squeezing my shoulder trailed up to my neck, my face, my hair, and they patted at my head like I was a dog. "Are you just saying that because of what I've done? You weren't so sorry all those years ago when Rishid locked me away."

Sobbing, from me. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

A chuckle, from him. "That's bullshit, Malik. I was always there, you chose to ignore me."

I leaned up, my eyes puffy and coated in tears, my cheeks wet from constant crying, and I finally looked at him, and that smile he always bore. How misleading it was. It was scary. I just-If I could beg him-! Maybe...maybe.. "M-Mariku, I-"

"Malik." He nabbed my chin, forcing me closer as he said my name. I was frozen. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please. Don't make me...! "Malik..." That smile, that disturbing, calm, misleading smile. "You know I hate it when you lie to me. All this begging and pleading, what shit." Chuckling, he pulled me a little closer, our noses almost touching. "You know I hate it when you lie to me. Why don't I just teach you a lesson about lying?"

More tears threatened to come out, but...no. There was no point in biting them back. It was over. "Then...tell me the truth." Just don't make me... "Tell me what you want."

His smile. "Malik, you know the truth. It wouldn't help if I just told you."

I was so frustrated. I didn't understand what he wanted, I just-I DIDN'T, I COULDN'T. GOD DAMMIT, WHY COULDN'T HE JUST TELL ME AND END THIS TORTURE? "I don't know. I don't know. I DON'T KNOW, MARIKU! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, OKAY? I JUST DON'T KNOW."

Pulling me closer, his mouth was on my cheek, licking up the salty tears that had returned. "That's why I do what I do. You don't know anything. I'll have to keep doing it until you know why."

Please. "Please." I was sobbing again. I couldn't take it. Not when he licked the tears up my cheek, when I closed my eyes and he licked at my eyelids, I didn't want this, I couldn't do anything. I didn't know anything. I was so torn and broken. What was the point anymore? He would come here as much as he liked, he would do this whether I consented or not, he would do whatever he wanted, because he could, and I had absolutely no say.

"Do you know..." He moved from my eyes, to my lips. "How much I love you?"

No. This wasn't love. It was molestation. That was not love. My refusal of his touch was not love.

"You are so beautiful, I'm not letting you go, so there's no point in begging when you know my answer. No matter what you say, it'll all end up the same, Malik. That's what you can't see. You can't see the fact of it all, that this is where you'll spend the rest of your days. It had to happen some time, Malik, you know that. You've heard me all those times in the back of your head. You've only been here for days, not years like I was, and already you're breaking?" His kiss had turned harsher, he'd spoken with every breath he took free from a kiss, and it all hurt. "You're so weak. I should've known better, that you weren't meant to have our body. And...as for your complete surrendering our body to me, well, I accept." A smile, another kiss to my cheek. "But, I'm afraid I'll have to deny your request to go home. This is your home now. You need to accept that."

I couldn't help it. I knew it was futile, but...the words came out on their own. "But...I want to go home. I want to see my brother and sister again."

Sighing again, he placed his hand behind my head and pulled me into a sort of half hug. "I know, Malik, but I can't do that."

Sobbing, because...I was weak. I knew it. I knew it, I knew it all along. Why couldn't I just give up? It'd be so much easier. Why did I have to be this way?

Another kiss to my cheek, a peck. Then, one on top of my nose, my forehead, down to my lips where he paused. "I love you, Malik."

"You can't love."

"Maybe not." The kiss was initiated, and he depended it, tugging a little onto my hair when he licked at my teeth, trying to get into my mouth. I-I wouldn't let him. I could never-NEVER willingly let him in. No. I-I couldn't. No. No. No matter how many times he did this, I COULDN'T.

"Let me in, Malik. You know what will happen if you don't, right?"

"I can't." Maybe it was stupid. "I could never." Maybe it was insane. "I would never." Maybe I'm just hardheaded. "Never." I'm so stupid. "Give into you."

The smile returned, and he leaned away from me, reaching behind him to unhook something from his belt. "Sorry to hear that, Malik. But, I guess it's more fun when you're like this, too." The smile, and a golden object was removed from the hoop of his belt. He held it up for me to see, like I didn't already know what it was. "Why do you have to make things harder on yourself? You know it'll happen anyway, so why are you so stubborn?" Leaning into me, making me flinch backwards, he held the Sennen Rod out, dragging the cold, cold side of it down my face. "Why won't you just submit and get it over with?"

I can't, I can't, I CAN'T. GOD, WHY COULDN'T HE SEE THAT I JUST COULDN'T! GOD! WHAT DID HE WANT FROM ME?

"Open your mouth, Malik."

My lips stayed closed, glued to each other. No, no, no way in hell. If he wouldn't let me go home, then resisting him, even if he hurt me, would give me a sense of satisfaction.

The Rod was pressed into my skin slightly. "Still resisting?"

I wasn't opening my mouth. Not for him. Not for anyone or anything.

"Stupid girl." With a flick of the Rod, Mariku brushed it down the entirety of my face then, and it was like a noose was tightened around my neck.

I couldn't.

I couldn't move.

This had happened before, because I wouldn't submit to him, and I knew it would happen, and DAMMIT, I don't know why I continued defying him when I knew this would happen. Maybe I was just stupid.

"Hmm...something tells me you'll listen now. How about opening your mouth for me?"

This was the power of the Rod. My movements were not mine, like some cruel puppeteer pulled on my strings from above, manipulating my body, and I opened my mouth, slowly, trying hard not to, but- It was useless. It was so horrible, I was crying. That, I could do. I was suffocating under all of this, him, this power, I couldn't take it.

"Good girl." With one simple swoop, he was on me, attacking my mouth with everything he had, plunging that horrible tongue of his in, and I slammed my eyes shut, not wanting to watch as he molested me. I could whimper, I did whimper, because-I hated this. Get out, get out, s-stop it! PLEASE, JUST STOP! I hate this, I hate you, I hate everything here! Everywhere. He was everywhere, all in my mouth, it was so disgusting. That horrible tongue of his explored every region it wandered, it touched every bit of me. My own tongue, my teeth, the inside of my cheeks, everything. I cried, because that was all I could do. I couldn't do anything else. I could run, but he'd catch me. I could defy him, but he could control me. I was his puppet, his toy, plaything. Would it matter if he just killed me?

While he kissed me, his hands explored the rest of my body, and I was forced to stand there and let him do it. Those long fingers of his frisked me up and down, all up my curves, riding my shirt up so that his fingers slid along my flesh. It was so cold. I couldn't do anything. Dammit, why? Why? I said I was sorry, whatever it was I'd done to him. I didn't know! I DIDN'T KNOW! Please...

Just don't.

Finally detaching our mouths, a trail of spit connecting us for a moment, he dove his head into my chest, and I was allowed to verbally whimper. But...he liked that. He'd allowed me to make noise. It was sort of an awkward hug we were in. He'd fallen to his knees, still quite tall enough to dig his head into me, and his hands were gripping the back of my shirt, pulling it. I could feel the cold metal of the Rod brushing against my flesh. "Move with me, Malik."

And I did.

I was completely at his mercy. His puppet. His toy. And I had no say so. So, why did this still scare me? Why did I keep fighting, knowing it would happen, even if I didn't want it, that he'd make me do it anyway?

I sank to the floor with him, while he hugged me. It was strange. Now, I was below him, since he was taller, and we were there, on our knees, hugging each other, his hands gripping my shirt, tighter...tighter.

Then, he maneuvered himself onto his bottom, so he was sitting, and I too, was forced to sit, in his lap. My back was to his chest, his chin was resting on my head, and his arms...they were snaking around and fiddling with my shirt front. I was shaking, even though he hadn't willed it, I was so scared. B-because I hated this. I wanted my sister. I wanted my brother. I...I d-didn't want to be raped. It had happened before, but that didn't mean I was getting used to it. P-please. Someone. Save me. Please.

I wanted to be out again. I wanted to be another normal person walking down the street. Another face you saw in the classroom. I wanted it back. I took my life for granted, and I'm sorry. I wanted it back. I wanted to see my friends again. I wanted to laugh about stupid things, read books, study pages in the History book, fall asleep in class while the teacher talked. I wanted all the normal things back.

Not.

_This_.

This was not normal. It was taboo and insane. I was insane! Mariku was insane...

The hands fiddling with my shirt found the zipper up top, and he began to zip downward. No, no, no! P-please! I'm...I'm sorry!

I felt a tiny kiss to the top of my head, and then his voice spoke out. "It's okay, Malik. You don't have to be afraid of this. It's just learning. You'll learn to love this, and then I won't have to use the Sennen Rod anymore."

Shaking, I was still shaking, and crying when he zipped my lilac shirt all the way down, exposing my chest. Slowly, his fingers found my breasts and he cupped them in both hands. I whimpered again.

"Shh. It's okay."

No, nothing would be okay. It would never be okay. I-It would always, ALWAYS be like this. And I would continue to hate it, and he would continue to force me into it. There was no other way around it.

My nipples became hard in the cold air, and I choked on a sob when he pinched one. I-it hurt. "Shh, you're okay." Why did he even try to comfort me? No, it wasn't comfort, he just loved pretending he cared.

My breasts were lightly squeezed and I tensed, slamming my eyes shut, my face burning. I was so humiliated, being used like this, and he continued groping me, cupping them from under, pushing them together, giving a light squeeze every now and then-JUST STOP IT! It's so dirty! I can't-I can't-I can't!

I choked out a sob when he gave another light squeeze, and I felt his lips on the top of my head. "Shh."

Stop, just-don't even do it. It's not comforting me, no matter if you're lying or not, it's horrible. Stop it.

The groping at my chest stopped, and I finally felt like I could breathe a little more easily. "I think you're ready for a little more." No, no, no, please. I'm sorry, Mariku-! I- "Spread your legs apart for me." My legs moved on their own, almost like I wasn't even trying to resist. It was the power of the Sennen Rod. I couldn't defy it, I was not immune to it, no matter how hard my mind wanted away, my body wouldn't listen. I spread apart for him, and he chuckled. "You're so good today, Malik. You haven't even cried that much like you usually do. See? You'll get used to it. Why does this have to be so bad anyway? I make it feel good for you, don't I?"

I couldn't answer. I couldn't speak, just make pathetic little choking and sobbing noises. I don't care. I don't CARE if it felt good! Because, GOD, IT DID, IT DID, IT FELT AMAZING AND I LOVED IT, but- I hated it at the same time.

His fingers trailed themselves away from my breasts and down my stomach, and the more he touched me, the more I could feel himself get hard behind me, and it made me sick. Stopping at my belt buckle, he applied another small kiss to the top of my head, moving his head over so that he was now next to my ear, and kissed it too, before undoing my belt. I wanted to grab onto him, make him stop, get away from him, get out of here, and back to the life I once had, but...

I was a puppet.

The belt was undone, and he slid his hand down my pants, going for the place that was wet, against my will. "Why do you lie to yourself? I can feel how wet you are. You love it, why won't you admit it?"

Around and around, he trailed the tip of his finger on the outer regions of my entrance, gathering up as much lube as he could. I...I couldn't help it. And he was right. Mariku was always, ALWAYS right. Why couldn't I just learn to love this? How come my mind hated it so much, when my body seemed to love it?

Once enough lube was gathered, he trailed up through my folds, running his finger across my clit, and then kissed my ear again before he began to rub it, around and around, with all that lube. It...it was so good, already. I'm sorry! I shouldn't be loving this, but...I couldn't help it. Why? Why did my body love it so much? I hated it! I hated it!

"It's okay to like this, Malik. You're okay. I promise to always make this feel good, so you don't have to worry. I know you hate being here, but I'm making it enjoyable for you, right?"

Tensing again when he pressed harder, drawing more circles with my clit, my face burned in humiliation. I was so sick, he was sick. I was sicker, since I'd created him, and even allowed him to take over our body. It was all my fault, all my fault, all my fault. Who I am is...Who I am is...

I moaned. Loud. When he hit a particularly sensitive area, and GOD IT FELT GOOD. I DIDN'T WANT IT TO FEEL GOOD. This was molestation, I hated it! I wanted away! But-

I couldn't. The Rod was holding me in place. I couldn't move, unless Mariku willed it.

Harder and harder, he pressed against me, making me dizzy, delirious when the pleasure surfaced. S-so good, harder, harder, so good. I grunted in his lap, tensing, shaking, jerking just a little. Why my body would move like that, but not when I wanted away, I hated it.

"I can feel you, Malik." His breath was hot, hot on the side of my face. I was sweating, crying, biting back the moans of pleasure. Another kiss from him, to my cheek. "I can feel you, everything. You love it so much."

He was right. Hadn't he always been right from the start? I knew he was right, I knew it, I just. I couldn't accept it.

The itch was there, small at first, then it grew. The more he rubbed, the harder it was getting to hate it, him, and everything. I couldn't stop the tears, because my mind was there, knowing this was wrong and insane, that I should be sitting in a classroom somewhere, reading books and getting good grades, not here. Not in the part of my mind keeping me prisoner, Mariku my warden, his toy, that he could play with whenever he chose.

Tighter.

Tighter.

Tighter.

I couldn't-! NO! I COULDN'T HOLD IT IN! I COULDN'T FIGHT THIS! DAMMIT, DAMMIT, I LOVE IT.

My body rocked back as orgasm hit, and it was wonderful, the sweetest taste, the best thing. Up...higher, higher, until it exploded, and I came, my head jerking back and slamming against Mariku's chest.

Why did it have to feel so good? Why couldn't it hurt? At least then, I could still hate it.

Mariku was hard behind me, I could feel him digging into my back, and I cringed, unfortunately knowing what that meant.

"Malik."

I wanted to be gone from here. I wanted away. Away from him, this place, this molestation, this prison. Kill me, somebody! Anyone... Just kill me. And let him take my body. He can have it, this-all of this isn't worth it. I'd rather die and give up my body to Mariku than to have to go through this everyday like this.

"Malik, you will get used to this. I promise. You just have to start learning to accept it, and to accept me."

Hadn't I done that already? Hadn't I already given everything to him? I acknowledged his existence, I stepped out of the way and gave to him what had been denied for six years. I accepted him as part of me, as part of us, as me. Malik Ishtar. We were one person, but two people at the same time. Mariku was my disease, and he wasn't just going to go away if I willed it.

Someone, help me.

"I think you're ready. Why don't you lie down onto your back for me?"

With the Rod's influence hanging onto me like a noose tied around my neck, my body moved on its own and I listened, crawling out of his lap and lying on the floor for him while he crawled over me and straddled my waist.

"You're such a good girl, Malik. I will always make this feel good. I'm not hurting you, so stop thinking it's so miserable and just accept it. It's going to happen, over and over, whether you like it or not, and you're going to be here, for as long as I want you to. And this will happen when I want it to. If you don't like it, you're just going to have to learn to like it. All things in due time, Malik." The Rod slid against my thigh. "I need a little help here. Touch yourself."

All I could do was stare at him in horror. I could...no. No. "No." It was the first thing I'd said since we started, and I was surprised at my own voice. I thought the Rod had taken my ability to talk, but-

Oh, he was mad. And tilted the side of his head like a cat, the blonde locks falling to the side with him. "...No?" A laugh, one that made me sick. "You think you have a choice? I wasn't asking, I was telling you. You're so funny, Malik."

Sobbing, sobbing, I couldn't stop. _Why was I like this?_ Why couldn't I just listen? "Mariku, please...I...why are you doing this? I don't understand why you go through all this, just to do this. There's plenty of people out there, for you to do this to, in our body. I've already given you the body, why won't you just take it and let me go? You can do things tangibly outside, you don't have to do this in our mind."

And he dipped his head, staring away from me to focus on a spot on the floor. He was thinking, and it confused me a little. Mariku was always one for a straight answer. He knew what he wanted to say, all the time, and had no problem saying it. "...I..." And this worried me a little, when he turned back to me, smiling and rubbed the side of my face, like someone would a cat. "I guess I don't really know. Maybe it's the familiarity, because I know you, and I don't know those people outside. Because I know you, I am you, or maybe not." A smile, a small, almost gentle one, but I knew better. "I'm tired of talking and I gave you an order, now touch yourself."

My resistance was null and void at that point. He'd used the power of the Rod on me so much, there was no willpower left. I was like a zombie, sitting there, sobbing, crying, my face burning at this dirty act as my fingers trailed down my body, like I was on display for him to see, and I began rubbing my own clit.

While I rubbed, he unzipped his own pants, pulling himself out, already engorged, already hard enough to take me, and he rubbed himself, moaning a little when he finally gave into his own pleasure, and just when the telltale signs of precum began seeping out, he maneuvered himself under my legs, smiling as I continued to touch myself.

"You're doing good." A smile, but it was misleading, horrible. Mariku was nothing but a rapist, this was nothing but rape, and that's all he'll ever be: A villain.

His fingers trailed themselves back along my folds, and I was already feeling the pleasure surface again, from my own rubbing, and it was horrible. Smiling again, and I don't even know why he bothered to smile at something like this, Mariku pushed one of his fingers into my entrance, and my body shook at the intrusion. Out...out, get out, out, OUT! THIS-NO! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS!

Around and around, he made circles, he scissored, he pushed them in and out, and I was already wet and lubricated, and...it felt good, especially when he would touch a certain spot, when he would push his fingers all the way up to the knuckle, in and out, and I would rub my clit, over and over, and it was a mixture of hate, lust, love, everything.

Already, I was feeling the rush of pleasure as it climbed higher and higher, but then his fingers disappeared, and like always, I almost...wanted them back, but no! This was rape, why the hell was I like this? Why did I love it so much, too?

I couldn't do anything. I just cried when he positioned himself above me, as I continued rubbing myself and feeling the pleasure get higher and higher, and he finally pushed into me, all the way.

And it hurt.

It always hurt.

No matter how many times he did this, it was always painful, like reopening and reopening an old wound. It would never heal, no matter what. Sobbing, I continued to rub myself as he pushed in and out, in and out, and it hurt, it hurt-IT HURT, PLEASE, JUST-STOP IT!

"Hold onto it, Malik. Don't cum...j-just yet." And he was close, too. He stuttered trying to talk to me, and I was forced to ride out orgasm for him, so he could build up his own pleasure. And it seemed to take the longest time. All there was was build up, sweat, pain. It did stop hurting after awhile, and I could feel him brush against that spot, the one that made everything better and feel so good, and I moaned. Everything, from Mariku, to my fingers rubbing against myself...it was insane.

I was insane.

I shouldn't be here. It wasn't normal. None of this was. I-I should've been at home, sitting in bed, reading a book, having dinner with my brother and sister. Not...this.

But, Mariku never lied. And if he said I would be here for a long time, then...that was it.

I gave up.

I gave up everything, my willpower, my body, my mind. It was his, whatever he wanted, because there was no more hope left. I wouldn't be getting out, I would never be normal. I would never be anything more than Mariku's toy, for him to play with as he chose. And if he chose to do this everyday, then that was it. If he chose to dispose of me, then...that it was it.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he threw his head back as he came all into me, and I let myself go, and came with him.

It was over.

It was all over.

As I sobbed into my arms, the control finally having been given back to me, he rolled over to me, patting at the side of my face, and kissed my forehead. "I love you, Malik."

And he left me there, sobbing, crying, lying in a pool of pain, semen, his raw love, and...that was it. There was no more hope, no anything.

It was over.

**End**


End file.
